Where to go? What to do…

What a whirlwind this last 7 months has been. It has encompasses both the very best day of my life and the very worst day of my life. Getting married to the best man in the world was by far the best day of my life. My brother getting in a car accident and going to heaven the worst day of my life. My wedding day seems like it took place years ago. However Adam and I are still very much in the honeymoon phase and loving it. But I feel like my life has changed so drastically. I’ve changed so much since Austin went with Jesus and I’m not sure I like the change, but I am not sure what to do with it.

There are tons of emotions and feelings that come with this for me. There’s anxiety, anger, guilt, and there’s a piece of who I am and how I became me that was ripped from my life. I don’t talk to my friends anymore because I don’t really want them to see this person right now, I don’t want to tell them what’s really going on inside. I don’t want to cry in front of them. But I miss them.

So where do you go from here? I’ll tell you where I think I’m going. Adam and I have a wonderful life full of love and laughter ahead of us, and I think I’m gonna live it. My family (both Nau and Miller) are a huge blessing in my life and I’m gonna love them. My strong foundation for faith has been mightily shaken, but I’m gonna believe in the Rock that is Christ to make a new sturdier foundation. And one day I will see Austin, my Tin Tin, again. It just may have to be 70 or 80 years from now. Today I can do this. Tomorrow I may not think I can, but moment by moment I’ll do the best I can. That’s what I will do.

How are you doing?

At church right now we are doing the series Courage Under Fire: the Life of Daniel. Wow, what a connection to the world we live in. Anyone feeling like they are in the fire with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? What about the lions den with Daniel? Can’t pay the bills on time or even at all? Feel like you’ll never reach someone’s expectation no matter how hard you try? Have a sickness that is spreading through you? Do you feel like you are stuck in impossible situations? I know there are times that I am ready to blaze a train through some of these things and kick some serious booty on my own and every time I try my own ways I end up going the complete wrong way of fixing the situation. (That is totally God keeping me in check.) But I secretly want the satisfaction of knowing that I got through something without help. It never works out quite that way though, does it? Here’s what God has taught me through this series. You may be in the den or fire right now, and it may really hurt and it may feel like you’ll never get anywhere or do anything right enough, but there is something beyond the den and the fire. As a matter of fact, God is right there with you walking through it and saying, “hey, keep your eyes focused on me. I’ll get you through. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again. I’ll never leave you, I promise. And by the way, I love you. You are important to me. Keep going my child.” His promises are endless and He never breaks them. We can count on Him. So how are you doing? You walking through the fire? Remember, you’re not alone.

Rest in that. Night friends.

On her own…

Today is kind of a bitter sweet day. I am taking the day off work to help move my almost 21 year old younger sister into college. I am so proud of her and all that she has accomplished so far in life and I know that she will do amazingly well at college. This is not her first year in college but this is her first time living away from home and a lot of us can understand the fear and excitement of it all. When I first moved out of the rents’ house I was moving to Lincoln Christian College where I knew two people. And when you grow up in a small town where you are related to many, moving to somewhere that you know almost no one is scary and intriguing all at the same time. At a Christian college I didn’t have to see or deal with some of the pressures that Torey may encounter while at a state school. But like I said, I’m sure she will do just fine here. So what advice do I want to leave her here with? I’m not sure…how about trust the Lord with all your heart and ask Him to guide you, have lots of fun, and try to get sleep every once in a while ;).
Love you sis!

What advice would you give someone moving out on their own for the first time?

I’ve Figured It Out

I think this blog is going to be a multitude of this, partially because I am a multitude of things.  This would be a great place for me to blog about being an admin and some of the skill sets that are useful for me as a person and as a professional.  Also, I would like to use this for my ministry blogging and personal life blogging as well.  It is no secret that the church is where I work and where I spend most of my every day life, so hopefully this blog will give some insight to someone who needs it and maybe it will serve as a great way for me to look through my day and reflect on the great things that God is teaching me and the way He is blessing me day to day.

I’m back!

I used to be futuremrskaylamiller.wordpress.com, but I am now the Mrs. Kayla Miller!!!!

Been working on figuring out how I want to blog and what I would like to blog about.  I know that it was fun and relaxing when I WAS doing it.  It’s time to start back up again.

Here we go!


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